“Safety is not the absence of threat; it is the presence of connection.” Stephen Porges
In an era dominated by digital interactions, fast-paced conversations, and an overwhelming amount of information, true human connection is often lost in translation, or even completely lacking. Indeed, there is less human connection today than ever before. Yet, at our core, we crave meaningful exchanges, warm connections, and conversations where we feel heard, understood, and valued. The power of a simple, authentic interaction – a moment of real empathy or a shared laugh – has only grown in importance. In a world where digital tools mediate nearly every conversation, the ability to foster trust, belonging, and understanding is becoming a defining skill for successful teams.
For all its convenience, virtual work also comes with real challenges. Remote employees often struggle with loneliness, and constant screen time can lead to “Zoom fatigue”, leaving people drained and less engaged. If left unaddressed, these challenges can quietly erode team morale, and the loss of spontaneous chats and body language cues can easily lead to misunderstandings. However, the flexibility and opportunities remote work gives can also be seen as a positive aspect. I have experienced very connected remote meetings, where people are 100% present, engaged, and connected on a human level. So how do we address feeling disconnected in a hyperconnected environment?
The science of connection
Human beings are biologically wired for connection. Our brains respond positively to social bonding, thanks to neurochemicals like oxytocin which our brain releases naturally when we feel truly heard and understood. Additionally, “mirror neurons” play a crucial role in how we connect, allowing us to “mirror” other peoples’ emotions and expressions, facilitating empathy and deeper understanding. This means that when we communicate with authenticity and warmth, others are likely to reflect that back to us, creating a more regenerative cycle of connection. This is on an individual level and can be scaled intentionally, but digital connection has introduced new challenges. While technology allows us to communicate across distances, it often lacks the emotional nuance of face-to-face interaction, making it imperative to be intentional and as present as possible when communicating.
The onslaught of digital connection has made us constantly question and rethink what makes us human. Being truly present in a conversation means giving your undivided attention. Distractions – whether digital notifications, pings from our Microsoft Teams or internal thoughts – hinder connection, focus and presence. Hence a lot of communication goes unheard, and even unnoticed. Think of someone whose mode of communication you admire. Who is your role model in inspiring people when they talk? A boss, a peer, a family member, someone more well-known? Now ask yourself what makes them so inspiring.
The science of communication
Great communication goes beyond words and is more than just delivering a message; it tunes into emotions, energy and the resonance of the system surrounding it. This multi-layered empathy allows us to understand not just what someone is saying, but also how they feel and the context of their energy. The messages become crystal clear. The connection becomes meaningful. Connection falters when communication is unclear or ambiguous, hence the utmost need for clarity when communicating with others. So, how can we move beyond transactional conversations and into interactions that build lasting relationships?
Creating a world where harmony and challenge can co-exist should be the goal of most organisations. As Andrew Horn explains in our recent podcast conversation (listen here), all meaningful connection starts with meaningful conversations. Meaningful connection assumes that one is wholly present, available, and actively tuning in to what is happening – with compassion. For example, noticing that a usually upbeat team member is quiet and withdrawn on video calls and instead of assuming everything is fine, simply reaching out with a sincere one-on-one check-in – not about deadlines or deliverables, but about how that person is really doing, can be extremely impactful. Taking the time to perform a small act of care makes people feel seen and valued. With this support, that person can re-engage with new energy, the shift in the team’s dynamic will be visible, and the meaningful dialogue will be open and eventually contagious – the message is ‘well-being matters’ and so does caring. By being fully present and listening beyond work updates, leaders and peers alike can transform isolation into trust and reconnection with the team.
The human element
Why is that so hard? We are all born with a logical brain that facilitates sound reasoning, critical thinking, intelligent debate and competing ideas. We have emotional neural pathways that allow us to interpret and regulate the way we approach these challenges. So then why do we see the two extremes of the lack of equilibrium? Either complete unanimity (which doesn’t exist) – it is a red flag if the whole team/group is always in agreement – or someone is too scared or demotivated to offer their opinion.
I have recently worked with several groups of senior leaders on the necessity of healthy conflict and how it contributes to building a culture of belonging, performance and innovation. Intentional connection and courageous conversations are key. Patrick Lencioni, in his conflict continuum, tells us that artificial harmony is often the biggest hindrance to healthy conflict, leading to fewer decisions being made, endless meetings, and latent frustration. So, what can we do about it? All leaders have personal agency in their workplace to intentionally build this accountability and create the conditions for this to happen more systemically.
Every discussion I have with a team or a leader boils down to this: I understand the principle intellectually but am not equipped or sure how to put it into practice. When we sit and co-create ways that this can be embodied as leaders, it is often the simplest and most obvious things that come out, albeit the most counterintuitive to delivering in the ‘busy’ work environment. My thoughts and take aways for leading in this environment are summed up below:
– Be intentionally present, even online: Give others your full attention during conversations. It is so engaging to be in a meeting where everyone has muted notifications, closed other tabs, and is constantly checking in via the ‘chat’ functionality or orally. This kind of presence builds respect and trust.
– Regularly check in on people (not just projects): Carve out time in meetings or one-on-ones to ask how team members are really doing. Show genuine care for the person behind the work, building openness and safety.
– Share your own challenges and be approachable: When a leader says, “I understand what you’re going through” or admits a mistake, it creates a safe space to healthily challenge each other, which can lead to fewer meetings and more effective collaboration.
– Create team rituals: Establish small things as simple as a weekly virtual coffee chat, or ‘coffecollab’ sessions dedicated to co-creation and connection, a fun check-in at the start of meetings, or a shout-out to celebrate wins. Even across time zones, teams can cultivate a sense of belonging through shared rituals and intentional communication. The possibilities for both innovation and impact here are endless. These rituals strengthen team spirit and give people something to look forward to, together.
– Be inclusive, particularly in hybrid settings: If some people are remote and others in the office, be deliberate about including everyone. This can be through different meeting formats – rotating so that people online lead some of the agenda points, encouraging equal turn-taking in calls, and pairing up remote and in-person colleagues on projects. This is so obvious and simple, yet the first thing to go in the pressure of everyday delivery. Intentional inclusion helps every team member feel like they belong, no matter where they work.
Changing times
With the move towards more decentralised decision-making and the rise of the hybrid meeting and collaboration structure, leaders are finding themselves facing multiple challenges and layers. Let’s take the move from waterfall to agile, or centralised to decentralised decision-making, or from traditional project models (which focus on fixed scope, timelines, and deliverables) to product operating models (which emphasise continuous value delivery and customer outcomes) – all these transitions require a shift in mindset, structure, process, leadership, accountability and communication. In fact, a different type of connection. The future of collaboration and connection is multi-faceted: we need cross-industry and cross-company partnerships to allow innovation; we need cross-functional, cross-national diverse teams for faster execution and delivery; we need flatter, more decentralised structures to enable accountability, collaboration and deeper connection across boundaries; and we need adaptive leadership to enable what AI and digital are constantly bringing to the workplace.
True connection in communication isn’t about saying the right words – it’s about fostering understanding, trust, and shared experiences. Whether you’re leading a team, strengthening relationships, or engaging with new acquaintances, prioritising presence, empathy, authenticity, and clarity will transform your relationships. In a world where distractions are abundant and surface-level conversations are the norm, mastering the art of communicating connection can be a game-changer. Small, intentional efforts – like truly listening, mirroring emotions, and crafting clear, empathetic messages – can make all the difference in turning everyday interactions into meaningful moments of connection. Investing time and care in people – listening to their stories, acknowledging their feelings, celebrating their contributions – pays dividends in motivation, belonging, innovation and performance. The future belongs to adaptable and empathetic leaders; those who recognise that even in a virtual workplace, human connection is the most important element to building meaningful, effective and collaborative workplaces.
Ultimately, the power of human connection in a digital world comes down to one principle: technology should augment, not replace, our humanity. Intentionally learning and mastering how to communicate connection allows leaders to create the conditions for people and business to thrive. Leaders who prioritise trust, empathy, and presence encourage their teams to be more engaged and resilient – not in spite of all our high-tech tools, but because of how they use them. Caring about how you connect and communicate is the key to creating the conditions for a high performing team and therefore sustainable results.
Thank you for reading.
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You can also find more subjects like this in my podcast, Let’s talk Transformation, available on Apple Podcast and Spotify.
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