I really disconnected over Christmas – for one of the first times ever – from digital, from daily life, and from others, and enjoyed a profound re-connection with myself and nature. As I reflect on the last year, several things become obvious to me, including the need to let go and allow things to emerge. Some of the major themes for me were that we can’t anticipate everything; we will always be disappointed by some people; less is more; we must sit with difficult emotions; we have to trust our intuition; we must create boundaries; and we must review constantly. As Brené Brown tells us, boundaries are a prerequisite for compassion and empathy, and we cannot connect with someone unless we are clear about where we end, and they begin. This is so true, particularly in the ecosystem age where performance, well-being and competitive advantage hinge on clearly defined, healthy interdependencies and relationships. These are simple learnings that intellectually are easy to understand, but hard to enact consistently.
When I think of transformation and looking to leverage a completely different systems paradigm, I often refer to one of my favourite quotes from Jiddu Krishnamurti: “You may outwardly build a peaceful structure but the men who run it will alter it according to their intention. That is why it is very important for those who wish to create a new culture, a new society, a new state, first to understand themselves. In becoming aware of oneself, of the various inward movements and fluctuations, one will understand the motives, the intentions, the perils that are hidden; and only in that awareness is there transformation.”
As we look as what is currently happening in the world, never has this quote resonated more, reflecting as it does the necessity to take the time to understand how to implement the vision. This is both an individual and collective process – to become aware of the existing situation and system: what is creating harmony, innovation and productivity, and what is inhibiting collaboration, thriving and productivity? If I add the digital conundrum to this thought process, the real question is: how can we use what digital brings to enable more peaceful, spacious and therefore productive systems?
Managing the digital world
We know that this is the direction in which the world is moving, and that there are consequences (both good and bad) of the digital revolution. Tristan Harris, former Google design ethicist and the co-founder of the Center for Humane Technology, highlights how tech companies exploit attention. We are constantly creating new habits, being bombarded with new information and getting lost in a sea of overwhelm. We feel like we are in control because we are constantly active, but in fact we are not controlling anything – just reacting.
I often ask people how they feel in their workplace, and many talk about being connected yet disconnected: feeling lonely in a crowded meeting room; feeling isolated in the middle of networking events; and feeling empty and demotivated when there is plenty to fill you, yet not fulfil you. Technology is eroding face-to-face communication, leaving people feeling isolated despite being “connected” on a daily basis across platforms, chat systems, and apps. This is of course an integral part of today’s professional and personal landscape – technology and understanding technology is essential, but not in an isolated bubble. Tools cannot magically fix resistance to change, cultural readiness, leadership readiness or the gap between strategy and the employee experience. Discipline and scaling personal agency are key to understanding and implementing any technology.
Once again, we need to deepen our reflection, our conversations and our boundaries around technology. Leaders must understand through a lens of compassion what it means for their people and not just quickly try to shoehorn new technologies into existing processes and systems. Often these systems are already too full of inertia and waste to sustain further input, and simply having the most sophisticated tools and technology is not a strategy. All too often, the human dimensions of this strategy and the legacy human systems are forgotten. People work in chaos, not peace, desperately trying to keep up, override their fears and lack of understanding as to what it means for them, and ultimately move on or burn out. Neither of these are the original objective, of course, and can leave organisations with large chasms in their talent population and weaken their competitive advantage.
Resistance should be seen as a natural and expected reaction to any major change. It is, therefore, important to understand why individuals are reacting that way. Leaders must encourage people to discuss why they are responding as they are and take the time to create a safe space for them to raise any concerns or issues they may have. Only when we can understand their pain points without judgement can we achieve more productive discussions and look for ways to involve individuals and teams in the change so as to reduce levels of resistance.
How to build peaceful systems
Our first reaction may be to equate peace with inactivity, silence and therefore a lack of productivity, yet nothing could be more erroneous. This is where we can connect to our zone of genius; this is where creativity, innovation, intuition and many of the answers lie. So why then, do we pursue the glorification of ‘busyness’ and ‘doing’ as the sign of the most effective leaders? Even if this is shifting, it is not shifting fast enough to influence the figures of burnout and toxic leadership. SHRM’s Employee Mental Health in 2024 Research Series found that 44% of 1,405 U.S. employees surveyed feel burnt out at work, 45% feel “emotionally drained” from their work, and 51% feel “used up” at the end of the workday. 79% of respondents in a CIPD survey identified stress-related absences in their organisation over the last year. This number was even higher for large organisations, at 90%. Remote and hybrid working often exacerbate these trends of working longer, feeling isolated and essentially burning out. So, what can we do to combat this?
We have already touched on some of the things leaders and employees can do to navigate this landscape and use their agency accordingly, such as setting intentional boundaries, increasing their awareness of themselves and their needs, and creating deeper relationships for human connection to enhance collaboration. However, this takes time, reflection and peace of mind. Sadly, none of these commodities are readily available in today’s fast-paced, delivery-driven systems, and we do not take time to make this space.
We know that creating this time and distance for self-awareness and creativity comes from a different part of the brain that is less used to flexing its muscles in the workplace. Iain McGilchrist, a renowned psychiatrist and author, emphasises the importance of balancing the functions of the brain’s hemispheres to foster more peaceful environments. He suggests that by nurturing right-hemisphere attributes — such as creativity, emotional intelligence, and an appreciation for the broader context — we can create systems and cultures that are more peaceful and collaborative.
What does this mean for how we lead and how we create the conditions for our teams to deliver in an environment that fosters collaboration and more peace of mind for higher performance and better business results? A large part of the answer to this question is understanding empathy and how it contributes to creating this space.
In our recent podcast (listen here), Maria Ross, author of The Empathy Dilemma, tells us that empathy is about human connection, and how a better understanding of other people’s thinking can result in compromise and fruitful discussions as well as leverage healthy challenge. We do not connect properly when we are stressed, defensive, tired or unsure of what we are meant to be doing. Maria also underlines the fact that empathy is compassion in action. Taking the time to ask people how they are doing, understanding how they may think or feel about a certain situation, and openly giving them permission to express this is an important part of scaling conditions for more spacious systems. When leaders model compassionate behaviour, i.e. listening actively, addressing employee needs, and leading with kindness, they set the tone for the whole organisation. Employees then have the permission and confidence to mirror this behaviour in their daily interactions, creating a ripple effect of compassion, creativity and understanding throughout the team.
We can also use ever-present AI technology to help us balance the human/AI connection. We need humans to practice and develop the more human skills to work alongside the existing AI and automation tools that are already running in the system. Balancing this human/AI connection will make us more efficient given that AI makes too many mistakes, and human behaviour is too nuanced. Techniques such as setting boundaries, being mindful of the emotional layer of our teams and valuing face-to-face conversations and connections will help us with the broader challenges of staying human and navigating the constant tension between trying to create space in the busy, automated and digital systems in which we live and work.
Thank you for reading.
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